Truth and Reality as I know it to be

Fake it

We’ve all been in those situations, where we are challenged to rise to the occasion. Beyond our experience, beyond our skill level, beyond our brain capacity. We’re stunned.

Today I shimmied a little closer to the edge of the ledge. The pit of my stomach churned. The days of Geocities and Frontpage were gone. The days of making dead sites for class exercises were gone. This was the real deal. What am I doing? The programs need serial numbers, updates, and the third party plugins. The manuals cover everything EXCEPT importing. Am I staring right at it? I know I’ve never been able to read long passages on computers. Maybe I’m skimming too fast. Why is this so hard? I taught myself GoLive. This is a watered down version. Actually, this is a like iPhoto. The password doesn’t work, The basic starter kit-design-a-website-out-of-this-box program the current webmaster has been using doesn’t allow importing or editing of pre-existing html pages. You’ve had Dreamweaver for a few years now, and you’re still intimidated by it. It’s worse than your fear of Adobe Illustrator during your first year in the commercial art program. You’ve done far more with Fireworks and Crystal Reports than you have with Dreamweaver. Better dive in now. You’re webmastering this site as a volunteer. Thankfully no one can see you clam up, the palms and hairline balmy the face flushed, and the throat tightening, you can feel the blood threatening to blow up the veins.

Breathe.

the WYSWYG application (which I doubt that’s the proper string of technical acronymns) automatically gets files, but I have no idea where it puts them and hope I don’t ever need to know. Start small. Find some HTML to hack, and modify the text, and off we go. Upload. Publish live. Refresh. Exhale. Mental talk: I can do this. I can do this. I did do this. I can do this. I don’t need a class to figure this out. Don’t fight it. This isn’t too advanced for you. You will learn to be proficient. You will use this to cheat and as a learning tool to learn web programming. You want to play with the big kids, you got to stand tall. Can’t win if you don’t play. You can do this. You will do this.

At least this is volunteer, and I’m not quite on my own yet, as the webmaster isn’t abandoning ship just yet. I took this on to force me to learn and build on the basic understanding I have. I don’t understand the abstract concept of web programming, so I have to have the visual aspect integrated in with it. It’s time to make some progress.

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