Truth and Reality as I know it to be

2010 goes *POOF*

It’s time to fast forward through 2010. There’s two days left to serve at my current job. I am tempted to gloat and announce ‘Ha! Someone recognizes my strengths and doesn’t question or try to jab at me just because I value things like routine, maintaining good work habits, communication, clear expectations, reliable sources of information, and doing things well the first time beyond the bare minimum to make it easier for myself and/or other people in the company to continue with. People value the assets I have to offer.’ That’s not professional, and so I am leaving quietly. No weird coconut cakes, no round of applause from the team, just a simple, vague letter and disappear.

It did really bother me when I was told by management they “suspect I struggle with reading comprehension.”
Excuse me? I tested pretty high on standardized testing and college entrance exams. I was in advanced English, literature, and creative writing classes. I’ve tutored people in English and grammar. I do not have a reading comprehension problem. My problem is, I see the big picture too much and I want to serve people and give everyone the dedicated attention they deserve. I treat people humanely so I see the gray and I see the roads to get there, I see a spectrum instead of the borders on the map. If you ask me where the town hall is, I’m going to tell you what the best streets to take are and what to look for. I may even tell you the hours they are open to help you. I’m not just going to give you an address and vaguely point and walk away. And trying to use retail examples on someone who has worked retail and knows the performance standards of retail isn’t as effective as intended. Retail standards mean giving your attention. You’re not allowed to make a habit of vaguely pointing. You are expected to handhold and walk customers to whatever they ask you to find. Retail understands this because they at least understand the concept of rapport and pleasant service needed to maintain return business. I can’t believe I just defended the retail industry. It’s about being accurate. It wastes company resources to do the bare minimum and then have to redo it over. Just do it well the first time and the time paid, energy and resources used to redo work can be channeled into other things.

I didn’t give myself time to process this remark about reading comprehension. It was unfounded. I knew if I did I’d be too upset to speak or remain civil. I just reminded myself, this is corporate antagonizing shenanigans. You’ve given the best you have to this employer for a year, and just put on a smile a little while longer. You and those who bother to know you know full well of your abilities. The purpose is to be agreeable to pay the bills. Remember the Serenity Prayer.

I will miss a few people. I really do like the current immediate management for the most part. There’s some key players I’m not keen on, and question their professionalism, leadership, competencies in their roles and ethics. My intuition about people has never been wrong as much as I may want to be. I feel guilty about not being able to give and serve more advance notice. Then I move on because the company will give little pause to shift someone else into my position. Failure is my biggest fear, so I am glad I’ve been able to evade the experience of being fired at this stage. I’ve never been fired in my life. All other employers have been impressed and extremely satisfied with my performance, work ethics, knowledge, and skill sets.

This company has been patient with me, and if I were my peers at work, I’d be upset at what would seem to be coddling. I wish I had more answers about what would make me able to perform at the standards they set forth. I don’t have the answers because there are so many variables in so many different respects. It’s like predicting the weather. I had wished they would recognize the assets I have to offer and were willing to assess and consider a different capacity or position. But I didn’t meet the performance standards to be permitted to explore those opportunities.

Next week I start training for a more advanced position of similar nature with a different company. I only applied once. They had a speedy turn around time. Praise my solid long term memory and the eTraining course certifications from the gold old days of CompUSA. 3 years ago, and I still remember enough to beat 90% of the other candidates with flying colors. Only 1 piece of information acquired from the current employer was transferable, and it was about troubleshooting Outlook settings.

It’s late and I best be off to Dreamland!

A better position with more pay, a seemingly realistic business model from what I know of the new company at this point. Let’s see where this change leads to, and try to do anything and everything to ensure the past year doesn’t repeat itself. Happy Lunar New Year.

2011 here I come.


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