I’m no one’s Mommy, but this FAQ from Priscilla sums up a large part why I more or less cloak details of my relationship(s) in general. Also I very much dislike small talk and having the same conversations repeatedly. This page also gives insight on why I frown when people try to assume I to be their “good deed of the day.” — Forgive the blogger for her lack of design.
Unlike Priscilla, I don’t drive. My parents did not support me, nor did they sign me up for drivers ed, the paperwork needed to get a permit/license was not certified so I spent a few years petitioning courts to give me my sealed records. I got them despite no assistance from my parents for that experience with the bureaucracies of the legal system. Got the driving permit [yaye!].
I had a few lessens in my early 20s with a self-important elderly guy who liked to scream at his students and get paid $160 per hour. This was not good for my startle reflex. He told me he thought I needed practice, and then in his report he wrote he did not recommend me because he did not think I was capable. I moved in 2008 to a different state, and got my new permit, then lost the original permit. I never renewed the drivers permit for the new state once it expired. I should mention, the renewal involves taking the test for the permit for the new state and I did not know the laws of the new state because their driving laws were different and I just didn’t want to bother since I didn’t have access to a car to practice with.
I use a program called Dial-A-Ride which is pre-arranged transportation subsidized by the city I live in under their Paratransit program. I call and give the names/addresses of where I need to go for the next day and tell them what time I need. The trip gets booked via computer system, and then the next day drivers in cabs (no more short buses, Veolia lost that contract) arrive to fetch me and drop me off. I pay a copay.
Here’s an example of how every time i go somewhere, the person sent to pick me up wants to engage in small talk, most of which I find painful because it seems pointless and a waste for both of us. Within the past year I have learned, my disdain for smalltalk relates to a cultural thing I must have learned/observed before I arrived in the U.S. as I prefer silence, and feel only essential items need to be discussed. Some call it the Art of Silence. My disregard for trivial and foolish activities is probably why I am terrible with pop culture.
“That’s a school, huh. Never knew that was there. What are you studying?”
Me knowing it is not something the average person grasps: “Human Computer Interaction.”
“I see. So you do…. stuff with computers. You must be pretty good with them.”
Me. “Here’s the payment I owe you.”
“How much time do you have left for school?”
Me [Trying vainly to get out of the conversation]: “I don’t know. Too long.”
“What classes are you taking?”
Me: “blah blah.”
“You’ll be home soon.”
Me: “I’m not going home.”
“Where are you going?”
Me: I nod towards the screen with the address, “To the bank.”
“Oh. What are you going to do there?”
Me: [silence. Not really sure what to say, contemplated mentioning robbing the bank. Figured that was too snide. Remained silent.]
“You going to work?”
Me: “No. I’m going to the bank. I don’t know what you are asking.”
“Oh, ok. I was just wondering what you were going to do there?”
Me: “…. I’m doing bank stuff. It’s a bank. Is that ok, is there something you wanted me to do instead? Did you need to go to the bank, too?”