Truth and Reality as I know it to be

I find it particularly annoying when someone tries to boast about their intelligence and makes a simple mistake.


On one of the major social media sites, one of my former classmates posted this on her profile page.

While I enjoy the Pink Floyd song “Another Brick in the Wall,” if things were up to me, the lyrics of the chorus would say:
We don’t need any education
We don’t need any thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers, leave those kids alone
Hey teacher, leave those kids alone


No problem here. One of her friends posted this as a comment.:

I really like this song always have. But I do have to admit that the line “we don’t need no thought control” I do agree with. Churches and some schools do promote thought control. Difference in learning and thought control.

Original poster replied: But it’s a double negative, so it’s really saying that we do need some thought control.

true, but only we with education know it is a double negative. If we don’t have education and we use street slang bad English language, is it still double negative or just bad English?

First of all, correct use of grammar is not used, as true does not have the first letter capitalized. Second, educated people do not call it “bad English.” It would be called “poor use of English.” 
I started to comment, and then realized the person commenting was an in-law of the one who posted the idea.I decided to not say anything.  It still irks me though when people try to sound smart and make such simple mistakes.

Academics would probably analyze the song and forgive the poor use of English as an understanding of the syntactical structure and style of the song. It would definitely not be called “bad English” by academics. The double negative could be called a poor use of English. English is neither good nor bad as it does not have actions. Remember English is a tool, therefore it can be used well or used poorly. Unless the context changes to signify an opinion of people from England. They are called English and judgement of good or bad is placed, then “Bad English” would be an incomplete thought or sentence. 



Sometimes I wonder why the CDC let the outbreak of Republicans run rampant.

I don’t think I became aware of how many people were Republican until after I moved to Arizona and also due to Facebook.

It’s times like these when I miss “Hussy” who put up with my ideas to jettison repeat offenders into space, as it would serve entertainment to society even though it wastes tax money which is already wasted on prison systems. (Yes, I understand why prisoners need cable or stimulation, need food, need exercise. I just don’t understand why the average person doesn’t have the same minimal access and all the things are privatized if the average system wants to incorporate these minimal things into one’s own life.) Regularly scheduled fireworks, and the lottery could also be worked in. Like the first pair of numbers (e.g.: 83)  would be repeat offenders who had been convicted 8 times in a 3 year time span.

I’m not sure why but taking tests online for any class has caused me to develop test anxiety. I have test anxiety to the point where my hands start shaking and I get dry mouth, and my stomach is upset. Give me a test on paper and can make it through without a panic attack. How odd. Test me for on-the-job-training and I get disinterested by the 5th question.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve had so many mishaps with taking tests online.

Loss of internet connection
Browser malfunction
Power failure
Trick questions and second guessing answers
My answer is not in the precise answer format (reverse or rearranged) to get the same result
Options to choose from are missing

With tests distributed with paper, it’s not like my paper is going to burst in flames, or shrivel up and die. or my marking for the answer is going to disappear. The most exciting thing I had happen on a test is I spilled my drink and I got orange grease fingerprints on the paper from the Cheetos I ate beforehand.

Well my programming final is done with. I sit at 92% before the final exam. There were 5 short answer questions, which are worth a combined total of 30 points. I know I missed at least 5 points because the last question was related to dictionaries and I didn’t successfully finish the last of the 4 pieces of criteria. If I get a B on the final, I’ll be bumped down to a B for the class. If I get an A on the final, I’ll stay at an A.

My stomach is churning so hard thinking about this. I’ll be very disappointed in myself if I get a B for a level 100 class.

Disability Treaty

Here’s a shameless plug for an online petition. Have you ever been somewhere in another country where even the major tourist places are not enjoyable because accessibility is a major problem? Or Braille and sign language interpreter requests are unheard of? Disability Rights should not just be for the U.S.

Without this piece of legislation the U.S. is collectively creating a double standard. Indicating it’s okay if other nations neglect and mistreat its citizens with disabilities because the U.S. does not want to broaden to be a two way street. For what legitimate reason? How does not allowing this benefit any group? It could create growth and jobs. What it means is leveraging a lot of different aspects. It means workers compensations and medical benefits to people working for companies who have moved overseas in the great outsourcing shift. It means more money for corporations expenses in those nations. It could mean higher costs related to production.

Click the link to submit a request to your local Congress representatives  to support the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD, also referred to as the Disability Treaty).  This convention, a United Nations Treaty, would provide protections for citizens in nations that have ratified the Convention, recognizing that people with disabilities should be treated with dignity and equality.  The U.S. already has strong disability rights policies for our citizens and no policy changes would occur here if the U.S. ratifies this treaty.  But the U.S. has yet to ratify the CRPD.  Ratification exports our leadership to other nations and calls upon them to follow our lead and institute rights for their citizens with disabilities.  It also would encourage nations to provide accessibility in their countries, which affects travelers worldwide; promote equal treatment for disabled persons in countries that ratify and lead to an ultimate end of discrimination of people just because they have a disability.

The full URL is

Last week I couldn’t find my mouse and spent all night searching, dumped my backpack, etc. I bought 2 replacements since the model I use is being discontinued by EVERYONE, I had to buy it non-amazon prime and just got lucky the third party seller was not charging for shipping.

I had one replacement shipped to me, and one replacement shipped to a friend who lives near where I work. I checked my mailbox, and ripped it open. I had been anxiously checking the tracking number on the USPS site. I knew I had batteries in my backpack and I found one and put it in the replacement. I kept looking knowing my mouse takes 2 batteries and I would never do something so hairbrained as to only carry 1 battery on me. I keep looking. I don’t find the 2nd battery.

I found the original mouse I kept swearing to myself I didn’t take out of my backpack the day I looked for it because I was paranoid I was going to leave it somewhere.

Now I have 3 of the same exact mouse. It’s a good thing I really do like that mouse. I will keep one at home, one at work, and one for school use. I have to have early onset senility. I can’t even trust my own credibility. I wonder what I will lose this week! dun dun dun!


Off to be bored with video tutorials about UDK.

Micro Giving

A long time ago a friend told me about the website.

Pride makes it hard for me to ask anyone for money especially when I am not entirely sure how soon I can repay what I ask to borrow from friends or family. I think I’ve asked to borrow money less than a dozen times in my life. I don’t like to keep accruing debt. Sure, I find inventive, yet legal and ethical ways to supplement my income and add experience to my career. I’ve been pretty stressed out because the private school refused to lower my tuition rates even though they approved the request to attend 3/4 time instead of full time. The Transitions Advisor has also made it part of her job to badger me about how I am to pay for the remaining balance for the Fall 2013 tuition which is not covered by federal subsidized and unsubsidized loans, or awarded scholarships.

Please share the following URL

The wheelchair I had to stop using two years ago, was 11 years old, and served me well more or less. I was using a walker a friend donated to me. It went through being repaired three times before I decided to pay for a new walker out of pocket in hopes that its use would be very short term. I’m not supposed to walk much, and walking fatigues me much faster than using a wheelchair. I wonder what people who have no abilities to walk do when they need new wheelchairs and the current one is not usable. I feel like I’ve had to put my life on hold for the past two years. I’ve reduced work hours and try not to make myself crazy with guilt trips from not being as much of a productive member of society now as when I had a fully functional wheelchair to use for… well making me faster with doing anything and nearly everything.

Is there such a thing as a “lucky month”? heh. Maybe I should buy lottery tickets only during the month of August.

I’ll give the non-profit sector another chance and hope for the best. Hope the egos are less inflated, I’d like to work for a non-profit where it’s more down to earth. I knew direct social work and human service roles was not the right line of work for me even though I always want to try to make a difference in the world. When I was a child I asked my dad if everyone could have the same basic stuff, like a bike. My dad explained to me at the time what I described was considered communism (in the 1980s), this conversation was one of many and I wanted to make a difference in the world; eventually I stopped wanting to be a political activist, an advocate, and a lawyer.

Seventeen years later I figured out what I really wanted when I was a child was considered socialism or progressive reform. As crazy as it may seem, I’ve always felt this pressing urge, purpose and “calling” to make the world a better place. My political beliefs go through ying-and-yang cycles as does my interest in current affairs, domestic, and international politics. Irony is, I don’t necessarily want the superficial grand display of attention or fame that seems to go along with non-profit work. I like being behind the scenes. I’m a simple person and a simple gesture of appreciation is typically more than enough for me.

I’ve worked for a non-profit organization before, had no expectations. I was disheartened to discover the office-types were more concerned with egos, vacation trips, and upstaging one another than with focusing on doing their jobs which impacted hundreds of children with special needs receiving services. My eyes opened when I realized there were “trends” dependent on the funding sources children with specific diagnosis fitting the year’s “trend” received more services or at least had their needs given more attention in different respects than others.

Thank you for your interest in the Make-A-Wish Foundation of America for the Learning & Development Intern (25-493). At your convenience, please let me know of some dates and times that work well with your schedule for a phone interview.

I’m so nervous. I have no idea what they might ask me. I thought by the early 30s, grown ups weren’t supposed to be nervous. I’ll have to schedule the phone interview for a time when I don’t have a cold further impairing the intelligibility of my speech impediment.

Earlier today I posted this on a social media page (of which I am NOT linking — yes I very much value anonymity, especially since most of my followers are those who are not acquainted with me; and the few friends very dear to me which have been furnished the link to this blog, find it too je ne sais pas because not one has remarked with feedback once they have the link).
“Mental Retardation” replaced by “Intellectual Disability” — For all those who gripe about “politically correct” words, if you don’t understand why words are important and can hurt, you obviously have not been subject to a minority experience. This should have been changed two decades ago. At least it’s progress. Read Change in Terminology: “Mental Retardation” to “Intellectual Disability”

 Man 1 of whom is not someone I know beyond the social media site commented:
Initially being mentally retarded was a medical condition. Someone then used the medical definition as an insult. Changing the name of the condition does little to stop people from insulting one another.

It does, however, give rise to new insult.

Man 2 also someone I do not know beyond the social media site added his comment: Oh, this is just silly.

This is what I officially responded with:

I wrote a long passionate response, and decided not to post it in this medium. If one chooses to make oneself look like a jerk, the freedom of speech does permit that. By all means, speak your bigoted mind. It needs some exercise.

Here’s what I wanted to say and then decided to bite my tongue and keep the biting remark simple and short. I wanted to publish it somewhere. I’m sure it’ll offend. I won’t apologize for this one.

Good points. Yes, I’m very aware of the history of the diagnosis of mental retardation in the medical field and it’s manipulation and improper use of it by the common person. I chose to express my support for the official change, and to those that know me well know I’m decently educated on the history of mental retardation, mental illnesses, and mental disabilities. All of which are now grouped as Intellectual Disability. A few sources mentioned people if authority labeled Einstein as mentally retarded in his formative years. Medical diagnosis and the health service industry are not always sensitive. Just because someone holds a nice title or rank does not justify the use of established bigotry by them or by others. Especially when they are not informed of the context and connotations.

There’s always a way to insult people. If such behaviors are chosen, at least the new term makes the jerks have to think of a better insult, thus exercising their brain rather than regurgitate age old bigotry. Telling someone “U R returded” is a poor delivery of and insult. Too many times have I corrected insults I received to the point where the originator looks stupid and I look like the bully.

I don’t mind feedback. Glad to see people use their brains even if it’s not in ways I agree with. I politely decllne on further responses to the subject. I’m okay with people having prejudices, stereotypes, and crap. It’s sort of like religion, I gave up trying to educate people on how their views suck and wanting to make waves of change. I’ve resolved to asserting when confronted.

On a side note, I’m pretty sure Intellectual Disability is going to be subject to remarks tied to Freud since Freud’s work explored the ego and the ID, so abbreviations are going to be tossed around and the common person will find ways to not only make fun of Intelletual Disabilities, but also Freud and sexual dysfunctions — all because they are not informed and don’t attempt to be.

I’m not sure Intellectual Disability is a good term either. I’m afraid the alternatives are worse.

There’s times for some reason when people show vacation photos, it’s less impressive (to me) when they are in the photo, unless they are doing something outlandishly entertaining. The best choice someone made for their vacation photos of Prague, was to take them without people. It gave me chills and the energy the camera captured was intensified.

With that irrelevant opening paragraph, the rest of this entry is concerned with HDR photography.
My rebuttal argument for photographers against HDR style of photography and how it is “un-natural.”
Depends on the technique used to achieve the HDR. Some primarily use the camera and lighting effectively and assemble the series together. I like that look, in my humble opinion, It’s surreal. I like surreal art because it could be something from a dream. It’s  the same reason why I like impressionistic art. Surreal art and dreams portray a familiar yet strange sense.
HDR techniques are about equal to a painter mixing paints for a new color. Photographers mix a series of photos.  Same concept, different medium.  If you don’t like HDR  because it is unnatural, then what is your stance about cinema other than documentary? Because cinema is unnatural in its timeline, effects, stunts, plot, all staged. In fact the majority of things in life are not “natural.”¹ Why should artistic mediums be any different?
¹ I could ramble on about all the things in life that are not natural like ingredients in Morning Star farms products, junk food, fast food, dye in clothing.., then there’s the internet and your brain, of which I will assume there’s capabilities with both, and refrain from a long boring list.

Die Happy

The part of the brain that tells you to go to bed, get enough sleep, and not eat too much. I override it. All the time. I have good intentions of honoring it. I even tell people “I’m going to bed.” 5 Hours later I go to bed.

It makes me suffer later and I still ignore it. Probably because there’s always something better to be doing other than sleeping.

Or probably because I think dying in your sleep or being killed while in a different state of consciousness is terrible. I want to know I’m dying, not just be sleeping and then cease to exist. To me, the idea of someone wanting to die without knowing death is upon them is the same as necrophilia. Go ahead rob me of the knowledge, I’m going to cease to exist in that instant. 

In fact, I’d want to die of natural causes while having phenomenal sex. Because the brain produces dopamine, and I’d be ecstatic. To be old, still sexually desirable  and capable. Man or woman, I think can relate. Logically, I’d be dying while happy and blissful.

If that can’t happen, I want to die in my 70s while still in a great chemically induced, elated high. Doesn’t matter if the substance is legalized or not. Why? Pain tells us we’re alive, and to the body naturally has a defense for when we feel too “alive” from pain. It’s called the state of shock. Here’s a pragmatically simple solution: take away the pain. That’s what pharmaceutical companies promote, some health care professions are licensed legal drug pushers. Could argue dying while sleeping would be painless since the person has no known capacities to know what is happening. We could say the same thing about necrophilia. 

If you can’t tell, I tend to want to exert as much control over my life as possible. Why would death be an exception?  Obviously I’m not the only one who thinks this, since there are states and countries which accept conditions of assisted suicide. I suppose each one of us wants to die on our own terms.  

I can’t really speculate how I would handle being told “you have x amount of time to live.” 
I’d probably do every rude, mean spirited thing simply because it wouldn’t matter if I was mean or nice. At that point, there’s nothing out of either one because I’ll expect to be dead by the time consequences are carried out. 

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