Truth and Reality as I know it to be

Posts tagged ‘Poems and Poetry’

Poem: For a Genuine Friend

Over the course of a year…  through the course of reluctance, indifference, and inhibitions I came to know a very talented artistic man. Five years my junior, a fellow scorpio. We are much a like in personality. Plagued with periods of depression, and feeling as though we are not understood by those in this time period, avoidance of people, interest in arts and science, self-driven.

This poem was written with this specific friend in mind. Who used the messenger program at work to communicate with me and who I barely acknowledged. Someone I mistook as a female for a year and only after extending an invitation to my birthday party was I curious enough to want to put a name to a face and started inquiring. I have a special fondness for this person. While I currently deny it is romantic love (yet a part of me wishes and entertains delusions of having the pleasure of becoming better acquainted with him during a  time when we both are single), there is no other word or phrase to use other than: Fondness.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Questioning the will power to forsake you.
To allow you to continue your journey.
Time to walk away for preserve my sanity.

You are too perfect; I am becoming greedy.
Uncharacteristically perplexed by sudden, sensational urges
Jealousy, immaturity, and possessiveness.

Feeling used and bruised, ironically
Self-inflicted, both guilty and manipulated.

You mirror me; I must find the
Courage to set us both free.

Tormented by ugliness,
You bring out the worst.
Consumed with constant thirst.

Our intimacy of the soul morphed into
Resentment and fearful of losing a genuine friend.

A fool eagerly bound a prisoner of fatalistic fantasies.
Befuddled, emotional muddled.

The time is here to take the cue to retire.
Stage Left, before the glory blazes into fire.

-AB 2012.12.12

* * * * * * * * * * *

I haven’t decided on a title yet.

Poem: Held Captive

Needing to be less you and more ME
Working hard not to fall into the abyss
Suffocating in the stench of stale piss
Ignoring pleas to correct what is surely amiss

Fighting off constant negativity to keep my head above water
How do you not understand what is the matter
Constant correction and you accuse me of arguing
Excuse me, I am not a target for your puppetry

Somehow I’ve lost myself in the shuffle, hussle, and bustle
Trying to figure out how to be less you.
More ME. More free

Once upon a time there was middle ground
It’s still you and I, still not quite a “we”
The urge to bolt away sneaks up on me

Incompatible as can be, no matter how many times “I Love You” is spoken
Who are you kidding? You are no king and I am no queen

The laundry list of complaints,
Self-boasting in creating tension to manipulate
Fellow pawns and rooks proves cowardly confrontation

There’s not enough antidotes to defend against the poisonous negativity
Stop listening to jabs, and ceaseless corrections , toxins sap all remaining energy
In the end is it to be you vs me instead of “we”

-AB  2012.06.10


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